To Where It All Began

I have decided that I am going to write a 3 post blog about our life in Haiti and where it is headed, but there are many people out there supporting us in so many different ways I thought it would be nice to go back in time and share how we ended up here. So let's go back in time.

Our story doesn't necessarily start in the summer of 2011 but it's the year where change started happening. Chris my husband went on his first mission trip to Mozambique and he came home and you could tell his outlook on life had changed and God was working on his heart. He started talking about moving to Africa and us being missionaries and I just kept looking at him like he was crazy and jokingly playing along with him and say "Yes, let's just sell everything we have and move." See at this time in my life I was planning for bigger things in my life. Our 3 bedroom 2 bathroom house was no longer big enough or new enough for me and I wanted more. So I started bringing Chris to house showings, talking to builders about getting a new house build for us and Chris being the kind man he is played along with me. I was consistent on wanting a new house, he wanted older and smaller if we did move. As months went on I started feel overwhelmed with life and it was time to simplify. I read a book called "7" by Jen Hatmaker and that was the start of how my outlook on life changed. As I read and decided to do my own 7 journey, things that use to matter no longer had value to me.

During this time I was also preparing for my first mission trip to Haiti. Now to be perfectly honest I was only going to say that I went on a missions trip, got to love on some children, and it have no affect on my life. But before this trip it was required that we volunteered locally. I was not thrilled about this idea but Chris was already volunteering with Boaz Ministries and I was already making desserts for their meals so I would just go with my dessert and be gone. Nothing in me wanted to do this, so as I drove that first day to their outreach site, I just remembering sitting in the car and asking God why he was making me do this. Well I left that day changed.

Fast forward a few months and I get notice that my trip to Haiti is cancelled. I am completely devastated. This was the second trip that I couldn't go on, maybe I just wasn't meant to go. Now fast forward a few more days and I am going on another missions trip to HAITI! How the trip and team coming together in a matter of weeks before leaving is a story on it's own, but God had big plans our team.

It's about landing time in Haiti and all I see are tents, and I decide right there that I made a big mistake by coming and I want to just stay on the plane and go right back home. I got off the plane, spent a life changing week and feeling God's presence in my life stronger than I ever had. It was clear at the end of the week that my family would be moving to Haiti. I didn't think it would be 11 months after going for the first time, but when it's God's timing you just go.

I wish I could tell you the whole story but I have so much more to share. So here was a glimpse of how we ended up in Haiti. Tomorrow I'll share with you about our life in Haiti so far, so stick around and enjoy.

Just a friendly reminder...

Tuesday hit our families three month mark of living in Haiti and to avoid any problems we left the country to come to the Dominican for a few days. In Haiti, you need a permis to stay in the country for longer than 90 days. Not sure how strict this law is but we weren't going to chance it.

So here is why I came on here to share what I have been feeling. We have been here for 3 days and as we walk around the thoughts of homelessness having been swarming my mind. You think I would get use to see hungry kids but it just doesn't. Yesterday as I walked around Chris and I talked about the people who sit on the streets and ask for money. I am having a hard time understanding how I am being like Jesus if I just walk by every person on the street and not give them money. But am I suppose to give every person I see money? I mean I could possibly go broke pretty fast. Chris told me about how he listened or maybe read about three people who discussed this topic and they all had different views. One said he donates to homeless shelters and never gives them money. Another said he gives the person directly money and the other said it just depends on how he feels. After talking about it, it still left me with no answer. Is there a right answer?

Now this morning comes and I am on a mission to go shopping. First stop, ice cream for the kids. We start our walk to the ice cream store and there sits the lady we have seen for two days on the sidewalk shaking her jar wanting money. I walk by, the guilt kicks in. But I just keep walking. We get our ice cream and sit at the table, up walks a boy not much older than Ethan asking money. I put my head down and shake no. Instantly my heart breaks and I watch him walk to every person at the restaurant asking for money. No one. I am instantly saddened by the thought that no one is helping. Not even myself. I continue to watch this boy go and sit. I can't help but just stare at him, and there comes that smile. It works... I call him over. I ask if he speaks English, piti he says. I ask Creole? Wi (yes). I ask if he is hungry and he says yes. Off Chris goes and they go order some breakfast together. After he gets his food and comes back and thanks me for the food. I ask him his name and age and learn that his name is Lazon and he is 12 years old. All I can say is Ok and goodbye. I have to walk away before my emotions get the best of me. You would think that living in Haiti for the past 3 months that these things would get easier to see but they don't. I sit here with tears in my eyes just thinking about it and wondering did I do the right thing. Was I being like Jesus at the moment? Should I have bought him food or should I have just gave him money? Was that right of me to do infront of my children? I don't know any of these answers but I do know that at that moment I felt it was what I suppose to do. And I also believe it was a friendly reminder to the one who was on her way to spend money on things she really doesn't need just because she wanted to. I was reminded that tomorrow I will be on my way back to my reality of where I see this everyday and not lose sight of what lies ahead.

So don't be afraid...

Isaiah 41:10 says- Don't be afraid, for I am with you. Don't be discouraged, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you. I will hold you up with my victorious right hand.

   Ok the problem is God, I am afraid. I am so afraid that I believe I am holding myself back by making excuse after excuse in my head about why I can't do what I feel you are calling me to do. One day, it's well I'll just wait till and found about this. Or it's well maybe if we did it this way it would be better, or maybe we should consider this first. But I think most of it's my pride that is getting in the way. Truth is I don't want to fail and I really don't want to fail you God.

   You have given me this opportunity to live in Haiti, you sent me to this community over a year ago and you have gave me visions for it ever since. You have allowed me not just to go there on a Saturday morning to play with the kids and say I did my "good" deed for the week but you opened doors to homes of those families in which I play with those kids. Just last week you took me on my first journey of going around to 3 different homes and seeing where some of these kids come from. It amazes me how open they are to letting me see their homes. Two of the kids were so excited for me to see their homes, I don't think they stopped smiling. The last child well... you know Lord. I asked you for a sign that day to let me know that's where you really want me to be, though I know you've already sent me more than enough. Sometimes I just like that reassurance and well you gave it to me.

   On this day you brought me to M's house. M who I see every Saturday and is always full of smiles seems like such a happy girl. You would think that life well is good. Though I am not sure what good is anymore. Anyways, M took me to her house and she opened a door to a building and I smiled and thought "Oh, what a cute room for a girl." It had a double bed and some cute pictures and décor hanging on the wall. That was her room. But wait sure it's her room, but it's also her 8 year old brother and 16 year old brothers room. Ok, so mom and dad's room must be at the front of the building. No. Dad has passed and mom has remarried and moved to the other side of Haiti with her new husband. At this point, I am so confused by the whole situation, that I am sure I asked way too many questions.

   So here we have a 16 year old boy taking care of his 12 year old sister and 8 year old brother. The neighbors take turns cooking them food when they have extras and the last time they have seen mom was in January. Let me tell you, I don't think you can ever prepare yourself to see something like that firsthand. To know a child by their name and see them on a regular basis to then find out they have been abandoned. You hear about it, but to see it. There are no words, it took everything in me at the moment not to get down on my knees and weep and cry out to you Lord "Why?"

It has almost been a week and God you have been overflowing my heart with preparation and visions. Not only are preparing me but I can see you preparing Chris and the kids too. And I pray Lord that as I go back on Saturday and see the other children who are in the same situation in the same community that you let it sink deep within me. You have given me two words and remind me each day of them. FREEDOM REIGNS. And Lord, I pray that you remind each day as the time comes... Don't be afraid, for I am with you.

Releasing

In the last 24 hours I have come to be aware that I have a fear of releasing things/people. I am scared at the thought that I am losing something, but then I think is that something or someone more important than what I am going to be gaining? Gaining the closeness to God that I have been craving for awhile now and know how much I have missing out on with Him.

Yesterday my eyes were opened and God was working on my heart and preparing me for what was to come that that night. As most of you know that are reading this I am moving to Haiti with my husband and three children. We have been working hard on raising our support so we can leave for the mission field. God had spoke to me in late November that by the end of January our family would be ready to go to the field. It was an exciting thought until I looked at the numbers and saw that we had to raise almost $6000 in just two months time. I prayed for people to help us...God provided. I prayed for people to support... God provided. And yet as we came down to the last bit with just two weeks before the end of the month I doubted that we would make it there.

Last Thursday we made a video for our church to update them on how much we needed to make it to the 90% mark so we can leave for the mission field and how much in total we needed to be fully supported. We gave the church one number to later realize that day it was a higher number. Oy! There came that doubt creeping in again. Sunday comes and don't you think that after adding the numbers and putting them into the computer that we received enough to bring us to 90.3%... God provided.

I allowed that guilt to get to me all day. I attended my book study that night where we discussed things that were hitting so close to home, I can home and went to bed. That's right I went straight to bed no thanks to the Lord for that day. But my sleep was short when I was awoken and I knew that this was the night I was to release what was keeping me from God. I also know that when I get on my knees and I weep to the Lord, that this is some serious stuff that needs to be dealt with. I cried "God how can you still provide for me when I live the life I do?" He told me to do something in that moment and with His strength and knowing He will help me I did exactly what I was told to do. It is the end of day 1 of this release, it hasn't been easy nor do I think tomorrow will be easy, but that's ok because He has shown me how to get through the day.

If there is something you need to release, do not be afraid. He will be there with you. He is your strength, you will get through this.

If not us who will be like Jesus To the least of these

It's been 6 days since leaving Haiti and today was the first day that I actually allowed myself to feel the emotions I have been bottling up inside. This has been my third trip to Haiti, all equally important but this time, it was different. My eyes saw things you would only see on t.v. My ears heard things you may not believe and my heart and head were filled with so much more. I wish I had the time to write it all out but reading it you probably wouldn't understand the emotion I am feeling.

In no way I am writing this to make anyone feel guilty, but after seeing and experiences what I did the week I was in Haiti how can I not share it with everyone. It's part of my ministry to share with others so they too can be involved or how their involvement is having an impact in the lives of others.

There were many different moments on my trip that I could sit here and write about, but there is only one that I will share right now. The others I would LOVE to share and maybe you want to hear about them, let me know, I would love to sit and share with you.

On Wednesday December 18th, I went back to the place that I continued to tell myself and others around me I would never return to. I tried my hardest to think of excuses not to go, but nothing seemed reasonable, so off I went with my team. I felt ill as we drove and wondered why of all places it had to be this orphanage that we returned to.

I was not prepared for it, but can you really be prepared for something that you have no idea what to expect? During our visit there we learned that this orphanage no longer has sponsorship, which means they have no money to buy food or supplies for the children or the staff. This did not sit well with many of us on the team and many of us felt afterwards that something had to be done. We had gone to Haiti knowing we would buy food for one village but never knew that we would add an orphanage. That night we put it out on facebook that we wanted to raise $1000 to buy food for both places. We had people step up and give and what an amazing blessing it was. It was incredible to go back to these places and deliver food and know that God will provide.

As we dropped off food to the orphanage we went into the room where they stored their food and on their shelves sat 12 cans of beans. 12 cans of beans to feed 100 children. Is that even enough for one meal? But with the love of Lord he provided these children with 2 weeks worth of food. Usually I try to control my tears but this was a miracle, a miracle I just witnessed with my own two eyes. It was a beautiful sight and I allowed myself to cry with tears of happiness.

Today though I sit, I sit and think that one week is almost over since delivering this food which means there is only one week left of food. I am having a hard time looking around at all this stuff in my house. These children don't want or need all this stuff, what they want is food in their bellies. They need diapers, baby wipes, soap to keep their clothes clean.

I may be crazy but I believe that God is asking me along with others to raise $2000 so that when next week ends the food is not gone. Will you be a part of this ministry and consider giving? This orphanage will be a part of our ministry in Haiti and I am so excited see what God has planned for us, them and you!!!

The Lord himself will fight for you.Just stay calm. - Exodus 14:14

As our first day of seven foods comes to an end I would like to say how frustrated I was most of the day until about 30 minutes when it really started for me. Today was a busy day which made it really easy to stick to the food plan, but at times made it very frustrating as I tried to remember why I was doing this again. I had cookies in face all morning, then I sat in Tim Horton's for over an hour and drank water, and then it was Costco that nearly did me in with those samples. It wasn't until I sat in my bed and was reminded of why I am doing this.
You see those three children and that husband? That's why you're doing this.

Jo-Anne pick up that journal you wrote in Haiti! That's why you're doing this.

Do you hear me Jo-Anne? I am why you are doing this!

I know when there is serious business going on, it's when I can drop to my knees and in that moment literally cry out to God to help me. Help us. Help them.

I have read my Haiti journal plenty of times, my tonight I see words and questions that are sticking out to me and I would love to be able to share some of them with you.

The scripture in the title was read by an 8 year old boy the first night we were in Haiti. He read it with so much truth and so power. He believes, even if with everything he has gone through he can stand tall and believe it. So I just found it fitting and encouraging to make it my title. This is something I must believe more than ever right now.

March 5th- Maybe God has a bigger plan for me but my patience needs some work.-This was our first full day in Haiti where we visited a school/orphanage. *Note* My patience still needs work.

March 6th- As I was showering, I thought to myself, could I do this? Could I wake up everyday to the simplicity of life and appreciate all good things God has blessed me with? I like to think I could.

March 10th- God has forever changed my life!

God made me go through "7" to prepare me but now He is saying it is really time to let less be more. - That was one of the last things I wrote in the journal and here I sit again doing "7" and praying God will remind of why less is more.

Feeding my Soul...

Tomorrow, yes tomorrow The Orlesky's will start 7 week journey/challenge of "7". I have been feeling it in my soul lately that God has been trying to tell me something, tell our family something. And I believe He is trying to tell us to stay close to Him.

In the book 7 Jen Hatmaker says "7 will be an exercise in simplicity with one goal: to create space for God's kingdom to break through."

And that folks is what we are aiming for, that is what we need as individuals and as a family. For myself the control I think I have over our move to Haiti as to when we will get on the field, how to raise all the money, what we need to get there has taken over the need of me leaning on God and knowing that He is control. He has it, He knows when it will all happen. I just need to lean on Him and know He is with us.

To start our 7 as family our first week will be our food intake. We as a family will only eat seven foods for one week. Chris and I will stick to the plan, the kids we will be more easy on them and they will get more options than what we have. They actually seem a bit excited for it, Ethan is convinced I am doing it to him cause he hates vegetables. No sweet boy, I just want you to know how much more Jesus can fill you up than food. That is exactly what I feel like I need, is a good feeding in my soul. I want to be filled with His word and truth.

So here we go again, pray for us, this time around I'm sure we are going to need it.

I know how to live on almost nothing or with everything. I have learned the secret of living in every situation, whether it is with a full stomach or empty, with plenty or little. For I can do everything through Christ, who gives me strength.
                                                                 Philippians 4:12-13