Thursday, December 10, 2015

What I Didn't Get To Say

Heavy heart.

Lump in my throat.

Tears falling.

Grief I didn't think would happen has need been brought to me and I'm not quite sure what to do. Earlier tonight I found out that our two boys who we have been caring for, for the past year has lost their mom. She has been fighting a sickness for quite some time and we thought things were looking up until Chris's recent visit where he was told she had taken ill again. To then find out only 2 days later she passed away.

My heart aches to know these two boys and their sister has lost the one parent they had. It hurts to know when will never remember his birth mother and the other two will only have vague memories of her. My heart hurts that I never got to tell some of the things I felt.

I didn't get to thank her for bringing three beautiful children into this world. Though it was hard and there was a lot of pain her love for them is got them this far.

I didn't get to thank her for trusting us to care for her boys when she felt she didn't have a chance to do it herself.

I didn't get to thank her for believing in us when baby boy was sick and needed immediate care that we would be the first one she would call for help.

I wanted to thank her for letting me love her children like they were my own.

I wanted to tell her that we would forever be bonded. Mother to mother.

I needed her to know that no matter what happens in the future she will always be their first mom. She will never be forgotten.

I thank God tonight for releasing this mama of her pain and suffering. I thank God He had a plan for these children and was working in ways we can now only see. I pray as time goes on for healing over the children. I pray they feel loved each and everyday. I pray that one day they can see this situation and praise God for the good that came from it, because it will be good.

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