A Revolving Door

This week at Bible Study we will digging into Galatians 6 and I know without a doubt that the beginning part is exactly what God is helping me fix in my life. Take a read:

Brothers and sisters, if someone is caught in a sin, you who live by the Spirit should restore that person gently. But watch yourselves, or you also may be tempted. Galatians 6:1

After reading it, I read it over and over and over again. Especially those last few words... or you may also be tempted.

This rings true so much in my life. I sit and watch people in life sin right before my eyes and I do nothing. Why? Because I am guilty of the same sin. How can one possibly help restore that person from sin when you are doing the exact same thing in your life?

Satan never wastes a fiery dart by aiming at a spot covered by armor. The bullseye is located dead center in our inconsistency. That's where the enemy plans to bring us down.- Beth Moore

Well ain't that the truth! Why would the enemy waste his time trying to destroy you with a sin that he knows he won't succeed at when he knows exactly what your weakness is. And he doesn't just show up with random people to tempt you, he brings those closest to you with him.

This morning my devotions first line was:

This is the time in your life when you must learn to let go. - Jesus Calling

When I think about it, I see a revolving door. It keeps going in a circle of sin, the past, sin, the past. I'll have days and even months when I feel like the door has stopped moving and then out of nowhere I feel it circulating again.

But when does this revolving door close and remain unopened?

I pray that God helps me find the right fitting armor where those darts just drop and that I stand firm. I pray that I also remember that the battle has already been won and that no one can beat my God.

When Problems Are Good!

Normally when people have problems usually causes us to stress. We can't imagine a problem being a good thing. How could having a problem possibly be a good thing? But sometimes  having a problem means we are doing something right.

Currently we have a problem, but we know it's a good problem. As part of our sponsorship program through Boaz Ministries we have additional tutoring for our students. We want them to be able to have that one on one time with a tutor to work on homework and better understand what they are learning in school. For the last couple of months we have being holding our tutoring class in the back house behind where we live. It has been great for us and has worked well. Over the last couple of months we have gone from 1 student to 15 students. With the house being about 15 minutes away from where the students live our transportation is becoming more difficult to transport the students to and from class. We needed a new place. Somewhere closer to home for the students where they can walk to and from class.

 

Here we have a house that has been offered to us to use for the year. It is right in the community where our students come from so no more worries on how to get our students to class. For us to have access to this house we need raise $1000 to pay for rent and be able to buy new desks and chairs for students. We are praying to have this house ready for next week and we need your help. If you can make a donation today to help us cover the cost please visit www.boazministries.com/Haiti

 

 

Do small things with great love -Mother Teresa

Voices

I have a voice.

I can use it.

You have a voice.

You can use it.

He has a voice.

He can use it.... but for him the chances are no one will hear it.

Unless,

We give him that chance.

I live in Haiti and so does he. You reading this might live in Canada and it is my job to use my voice so he can be heard and you have to be that person that listens.

I work with so many teens and even young children who are unable to attend school for many different reasons. Their chance to go to school is taken away from them all because they don't have the money to attend. I listen to their dreams for life but soon those dreams will fade.

I have to use my voice for him, you have to use your voice for him, we have to use our voices so he can use his and knows it is just as important.

Here are two brothers that need sponsoring. They need it so they can go to school, they need it so they can receive a hot meal that just might be their only meal today, they need it so they know they are not forgotten. For $39/mth you are keeping dreams alive. Visit us today at www.boazministries.com

Sadness for Sale!

Please excuse my post that are you about to read but I really must know....

Does Sadness really Sell???

I have become you could say quite frustrated with this thought and I probably have been for quite awhile. But I really need your input on this one, I need to know what you think, I need you to be honest. I won't hold any hard feelings because I can't. I was once there and even some days I still am there.  Maybe I can just see things a bit differently from some of you now because well I am lucky enough to get to see it almost everyday.

Lucky?

You probably wonder why I think I am lucky that I get to see sadness.

Well I do think I am lucky, I am lucky because while some of you may only ever get to see sadness, I get too see what comes after that. I get to see the smile that slowly comes across the 2 years old face when he realizes that you keep coming back to visit and you keep showing him love. I get to see the look on the mom's face when she is told her two children are going back to school after three years of being out. I get to see the look on the boy's faces when they are told they are going to school for the first time.

I guess what is really bothering me is, why do I as a missionary feel obligated to share the sad stories with you to try to make a difference? Would it tug more at your heart to hear that a child only eats once a day than if I were too say excitingly that, that same child eats 2-3 meals a day everyday but I needed your support to make sure it kept going. 

Would you be more willing to help if I told you the way these children live to help get them sponsored to go to school or can I share how awesome this child is and what his dreams are and what he likes to do and not even mention one other thing about him or his family.

I'll be honest I hate sharing sad news. I would rather share all the amazing things that are happening but I'm afraid that by doing that you won't think we need help with our ministry.

So again I end with this and I really do hope to hear your thoughts. Does sadness really sell?

You're Never Too Young

I'm 30 years old and tonight and sit and try to put myself in a place of loss. Not just in a loss of something I will one day forget about, but the loss of parent. Both of my parents are alive, I was raised by them and though my dad worked away from home a lot, I always knew he was coming home. I have no idea what it feels like to lose a parent by death, abandonment or because I couldn't be cared for.

In September of this year our family took in two boys 4 years old and 7 months old. Mom dropped them off with dad and to this day we have no idea where she is. I wonder if she had this planned? I wonder if she just woke up and decided this would be for the best? I wonder what it was like as a mother of two young boys to drop off your children and know that you may just never see them again? These boys suffered one of the greatest losses of life. The loss of their mother.

Dad wanting what's best for his children and knowing he needed help reached out to look for someone to care for his boys even if it meant leaving them at an orphanage. Help was found. Help was about two hours away which meant visits would be rare. Help came and again they suffer another loss. I wonder if the 4 year old thought, Will I ever see my daddy again? What about mommy? I remember looking at him and seeing sadness in his face. He didn't say a word the whole time we talked with dad, he didn't say a word on the drive home, I'm not even sure he said a word until the first night when he slept he woke crying "Papa, Papa." How do you console a crying child when the one person he wants isn't around to comfort him?

Over the next three months we see joy come out of him, he becomes a part of our family. We become Mami and Papi. We teach him to pray before meals, he gives our family kisses before bed, he shows love and compassion to those in our neighborhood, and he even says things you didn't think a 4 year old would think about. Then the day comes for Dad to visit. What a joyous time it was for our little guy to see his Papa, until of course it's time for the visit to end and he realizes Papa is leaving without him. The sadness comes back and the tears flow. That feeling of loss has come back.

Only a few weeks later and it's time. We are excited and our sweet boy is excited. Papa is coming for his boys. It was a day of mixed emotions.

It's visit time to see how the boys are doing. Dad is working out of town, so the boys are staying with someone.  The sadness is back and hearts are broken. The same look I saw on the day we took him home is the same look I see in the pictures Chris shows me of his visit. My heart sinks and I fight back the tears.

As I look at the picture I wonder a few things...

Is he angry with dad?

Is he angry with us?

Does he miss his mommy?

Does he miss our family?

Is he thinking, am I not good enough for anyone?

You may think he is too young to think these things, but when you see through those eyes you can tell he is thinking one or many of these things. He may only be 4 years old but he is not too young to know that this isn't they way it's suppose to be.

Where is Jesus in all of this?

Yesterday at church I sat and listened to the Pastor and he talked about our brokenness in our lives and the the brokenness in the world around and sometimes we ask "Where is Jesus in all of this?"

I have to admit I have been asking myself this question for the past couple of weeks. There is brokenness inside me and there is brokenness around me, and I just keep asking "Where are you Jesus?"

His reply to me was "Where are you in all of this? Because I am right here."

I have been feeling like God is having a time away from me and I just couldn't understand why. But yesterday I realized He isn't having time away from me, I am the one having time away from Him. Yes I have been reading my daily devotions, yes I have been praying and yes I have been reading the Bible.  But it's more out of habit, because it's what I think will make things better. Did you notice the word I used. THINK. I shouldn't think any of these things will make it better, I should KNOW it will make things better.

Last night before bed He sent me one more reminder, and this time He sent it through my 5 year old daughter. We were playing a game and she picked up her Bible and said "Mom, Life is not so easy, but God wants you to read the bible every day and every night."

So today I look around and see how clear it is that Jesus is here in all of this. God gave us his Spirit, so I can see Him in the Pastor who spoke truth to me. He is in my daughter who I look at everyday. He is in the Bible that I can so easily pick up and read. He is right beside, for if I were to open my mouth and say a few words, He would hear every word being said.

But "Where am I in all of this?"

I have a choice.  I can sit here and wonder this question some more, or I can say "Jesus, I am here. I need your help."

These could be our daughters and our sons

It's been awhile since I have listened to the song "Kings and Queens" by Audio Adrenaline and Sunday morning I laid and bed and really listened to the words. The first time I heard this song I was preparing for my first missions trip to Haiti. It brought me to tears listening to the song and seeing the kids in the video. Now over a year later, I lay in my bed, in Haiti, where I live, laying beside a tiny boy with little hands and shoeless feet who just keeps looking at me. I think "Wow, here I am in this country where God led me and today He is sending me a reminder of why I am here."

This past weekend I met two children. A boy named Wilson who is 11 and a girl name Marie France who is 13. The moment I laid eyes on them, I knew that as a ministry we were going to help them and we are praying and waiting for the right people to step in and say "I will help you." A lot of people who come to this country for a short period time would look at these kids and probably hold back tears because of how bad they feel for them and wish they knew a way to help them. Me, I hold back tears because I see success in these two children. I see a future. I see love. I see Jesus.

Sunday Morning, I sing the lyrics and as I sing along I picture Wilson and Marie France. I want to share some of the lyrics with you and go deeper in what I feel for these two.

WILL WE LEAVE BEHIND THE INNOCENT TOO BRIEF?
Well will we? Are we going to read this and think oh someone else will help, I don't need to. Or will we say "I'll pray for them." Now don't get me wrong, prayer is powerfully and it changes lives of those around us, but sometimes God is asking YOU, not me, or that person but YOU to do more than just pray. He wants you to act. There comes a point where someone has to step up and say I'll do it even if you don't know how you might do it. Trust me I'll understand, I live in Haiti and there isn't a day that goes by where I wonder how I am going to do it. But I also have a very powerful God who is with me and knows how to do it.

THESE COULD BE OUR DAUGHTERS AND OUR SONS!
Literally these could be our children. It's hard to think that but think about all the kids all over the world who are adopted. They all came from a situation that we may never understand but we love them anyway. For me, I now have two sons because of a situation I'll never fully understand. Most of us should be thanking God every day for the life He gave us and the life we are able to give our children, but let's not forget about those that haven't been giving luxuries of what we have been given.

I KNOW MY GOD WON'T LET THEM BE DEFEATED.
I have been praying all weekend for individuals to step up and say they want to sponsor Wilson and Marie France. But I also know God works on His own timing and that they WILL get their sponsors and they will get the opportunity to go to school and eat nutritional meals. We are ALL God's children, so we have to take the responsibility of taking care of each other.

WON'T YOU LOOK AROUND THESE ARE THE LIVES THAT THE WORLD HAS FORGOTTEN.
When I sing these words, it hits me hard. It's a good chance it's because I live in a world like you where there are children all over the world waiting. Waiting to be loved. Waiting for their chance to be free. Waiting for their chance to attend school. Waiting for the day their belly is filled everyday. But it's even harder to sing these words when you live in a country where your neighbor is literally starving everyday and teens are sitting at the street corner because they can't afford to go to school or no one wants to help them because they aren't so small and cute anymore. I pray that God gives me the right words and sends me to the right people to speak for them and show them that they are still loved. We still love you, He still loves you!!!

IF NOT US WHO WILL BE LIKE JESUS, TO THE LEAST OF THESE.
Tell me who??? I need to know, I really do. We have to be the ones to be like Jesus. We are ALL called to take care of the least of these. You have so many opportunities right in front of you no matter where you are to take care of them. I wonder who will be like Jesus and help take care of Wilson and Marie France. Is it you?

I could probably write every line of this song but you would probably stop reading. But tonight I pray that you help us find sponsors for Marie France and Wilson. Share their picture, share my blog, share our facebook page. Call someone. Email someone. I know and believe that there is someone out there waiting to see their beautiful faces and say "It's me."

For $35/mth you can sponsor one of these two children and you will be giving them the opportunity to attend school, receive tutoring weekly, have healthy meals, hear the Gospel, and give them the chance to just be kids. I am so excited to be doing sponsorships and sharing updates with you about the kids you sponsor and allowing you to see and watch them grow.